I Was Mid-Thirties When It Happened for the First Time | How to Stop People Pleasing

A Hair Appointment, a Breath, and the Moment I Realized I Was Living Someone Else's Script

I had spent my morning rushing around, doing the momma thing, overseeing the littles roaming the house. I barely made it to my appointment on time. I remember texting her from the red light:

“I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I’m running 3 minutes late!”

Anxiety cascaded across my chest. I was late. I was letting someone down. The light turned green. No time to wait for her reply.

I spent the next few moments of my drive feeling heavy and anxious. When I finally arrived, two minutes late, I found her with another client, completely unbothered by my tardiness. Wow. The pressure I placed on myself… for nothing.

I sat in the waiting room, feeling the anxiety I had created slowly fade. The pressure on my chest began to lift. I thumbed through a magazine, thinking,

“You have time to read something. You didn’t have to rush or feel all that anxiety.”

Without having language for it yet, I was returning to my breath and feeling peace move back through my body. I would eventually understand this as breath from Oversoul.

“What style will I choose today?”

I hadn’t had time to think about it. Then came the self-sabotage:

“I love this one, but my hair is too thin.”

Five children in nine years had affected my body and my hair. The heavy blanket of anxiety began covering my chest again.

Am I enough? Is my thinning hair a signal that my life is thinning too?

Before my thoughts could spiral, she called me to the chair with a big, hearty smile that said,

“You are enough exactly as you are, and I’m here to help you feel your best.”

I’ll never forget her smile or the way she made me feel, special, seen, held, heard, and enough.

As the appointment began, she asked what I wanted to do. We were new to each other, so there was a getting-to-know-you vibe. I pointed to a photo and said,

“I love this cut and style, but my hair is thin and I have a cowlick. It won’t work with my part or texture.”

She responded,

“I can see where you have some thinning at the temples. It’s heavier on one side. Have you considered changing your part to compensate?”

In that moment, my mind was blown.

Change my part? What do you mean? I’ve had this part since I was a little girl. You can’t just change your part.

She giggled and said,

“Of course you can. It’s just hair. You can do anything you want to it.”

And in that moment, my life changed. To this day, I call it a breakthrough. Time stood still. The breath in my lungs caught.

Is it possible I’ve lived my life by others’ opinions and standards? If I had given something as insignificant as the part in my hair this much authority over me, where else had I given away my authority without realizing it?

How to Stop People Pleasing

Can you relate?

Have you played second guest to others’ perceptions without realizing it? Is living that way holding you back? Do you have a similar “hair part” moment, one where you realized you were living on autopilot instead of being breath and soul-led?

Do you feel like you’re at a stage where you’re ready to start choosing you, your authentic voice and truest breath, over the noise and chaos that told you who to be? Do you know who you are beneath the expectations of others?

Do these questions make you feel alive and free, or scared and lost? When you go deep you will know how to stop people pleasing.

There are no right or wrong answers. You are not in the wrong place, regardless of where you lean. There is only the present moment and your connection to breath and Oversoul. When you’re ready for change, you’ll know. That is your perfect timing.

You are not lost, not broken, not late. You are exactly where you need to be.

It is safe to choose your own voice, your own breath and your own dreams.

What does your breath want to say next?

With love,

Luna